Melbourne 101

There are a couple of things you must know about Melbourne - the weather and the flies

(1) The locals will tell you that you can experience 4 seasons in one day. That's a bit extreme, but it can change without warning and not two days seem to be the same. Our first couple of nights in our new house were freezing - we had no blanket and it was getting down to 15C (mid 50'sF). After a few chilly nights, we bought a quilt. Later than night, the temp never got below 26C (upper 70'sF). After a couple nights of that, we went back to the store to buy a fan. :)

There is not much between the southern coast and Antarctica - just the great Southern Ocean. When the wind blows out of the southwest, its very cool. Similarly, there is not much between Melbourne and the desert bush of the northwest. When the winds blow from there, its like living in an oven. For NYE night, the temperature at midnight was a mild 31C (87F) - it made watching fireworks seem like the 4th of July. The only relief for those of us without air conditioning (mind you, we neither have heating or A/C in this house) is to go to the beach! Seems like a good trade off.

(2) I've been searching high and low for a good explanation of the 'fly experience'. I was worried that they didn't exist and that they were only in my head since no one ever complained. We second guessed this move Down Under almost immediately after we were attacked by our first fly swarm. I was relieved when my manager was swatting them on the way to lunch and cursing them - as I often do. He said its just something to get used to in the summer. The weatherman one night mentioned that they ride the winds from the north where there are acres of sheep farms. Either way, they are the most annoying flies you will ever encounter. When the flies are bad, you will be attacked by several and all they want to do is crawl into a crevasse. Their sticky and persistent. To better illustrate my point, I've included an excerpt from "In a Sunburned Country" by Bill Bryson. In his book, Bill takes the reader on a tour of Australia from a US visitor point of view. It is a great read for anyone interested in learning more about Australia before they come to visit. :) Here is how Bill describes the flies:

"...I was joined by a fly - smaller and blacker than a housefly. It buzzed around in front of my face and tried to settle on my upper lip. I swatted it away, but it returned at once, always on the same spot. A moment later, it was joined by another that wished to go up my nose. It also would not go away. Within a minute or so I had perhaps twenty of these active spots all around my head and I was swiftly sinking into the state of abject wretchedness that comes with a prolonged encounter with the Australian fly.

Flies are of course always irksome, but the Australian variety distinguishes itself with its very particular persistence. If an Australian fly wants to be up your nose or in your ear, there is no discouraging him. Flick at him as you will and each time he will jump out of range and come straight back. It is simply not possible to deter him. Somewhere on an exposed portion of your body is a spot, about the size of a shirt button, that the fly wants to lick and tickle and turn delirious circles upon. It isn't simply their persistence, but the things they go for. An Australian fly will try to suck the moisture off your eyeball. He will, if not constantly turned back, go into parts of your ear that a Q-tip can only dream about. He will happily die for the glory of taking a tiny dump on your tongue. Get thirty or forty of them dancing around you in the same way and madness will shortly follow.

...lost inside my own little buzzing cloud of woe, waving at my head in an increasingly hopeless and desultory manner - it is called the bush salute - blowing constantly out of my mouth and nose, shaking my head in a kind of furious dementia, occasionally slapping myself with startling violence on the cheek or forehead. Eventually, as the flies knew all along, I gave up and they fell upon me as on a corpse."

Brilliant! I especially like the last paragraph.

It was funny to watch Melissa content with a swarm as we walked to lunch the other day. She lost the battle, and to add insult to injury, one successfully flew into her open mouth and was swallowed. They are fearless! Needless to say, she was not very happy - or satisfied with the appetizer.